The following is a personal essay that reflects the opinions and experiences of its author alone.

February 13, 2025

When I conduct diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) training in my roles as a clinical psychologist and consultant, I start with a simple question: What matters to you?

Family, respect, hard work, loyalty, spirituality, God, traditions, independence, and identity are the most common responses. These are the same responses I heard from active military service members during my tenure as an Army clinical psychologist.

Most of us share these values. Shared values are the cornerstone of all relationships. When values align, so do our actions in the name of our shared principles and beliefs.

Our Shared Values: Holding Up a Mirror to the Nation

Values shape entire nations. The United States was formed under the belief that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are inalienable rights. Unfortunately, our nation created a conundrum when it limited the populations to which these values applied. These values did not apply to the millions of enslaved Africans who were forcefully brought here across the Atlantic over more than 400 years. Even after slavery was abolished, these values still did not apply.

Millions of Native Americans were also denied these values as their land was imperialistically taken and decimated by settlements, colonies, and war, then eventually forced onto reservations. Asians, Pacific Islanders, Latinos/Hispanics, and others — groups that are deeply connected to American soil — have similar testimonies of systemic oppression.

Structural inequities, as we know, don’t just exist along racial and ethnic lines. People of marginalized identities, including individuals with different abilities and disabilities, have long been cut off from the values that our country purportedly upholds.

[Read: Racial Disparities in ADHD Care — How Clinicians Can Better Serve Patients]

DEI Is About Accountability

America’s legacy of structural, systemic inequity and disparity is why DEI programs exist.

DEI and equal opportunity (EO) initiatives are meant to counteract historical wrongs, the impacts of which are still felt today. They are pivotal in holding America accountable to its stated ideals and to its people, which is why — in the face of executive directives to end DEI — dismantling supremacist systems designed to perpetuate inequity must remain a priority so long as these systems impair some individuals’ life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Dismantling begins with awareness of our country’s historical injustices. When we understand how the past has shaped the present, we see how to shape this nation’s trajectory to avoid repeating those errors. We can choose to learn from our mistakes and take steps to ensure all people are valued, regardless of skin tone, ethnicity, or ability.

To end DEI and similar initiatives — to no longer commit to righting wrongs and upholding our values — is to condemn the U.S. to a path of devolution and regression. Going backward would unearth chaos, deteriorate our nation’s connective tissue, and enact a social, economic, and humanistic toll that will be felt by everyone.

DEI in the Military: Valuing All Who Serve

What do we value as a nation? Can we say that we value the contributions of all – including those who protect this country – when we’re dismantling initiatives designed to ensure that all qualified people have the opportunity to contribute?

[Read: I Have ADHD. Is the Military Right for Me?]

On multiple occasions – as a soldier, officer, and even as a behavioral health provider – I have encountered prejudice and racism, well beyond daily microaggressions, that caused me much pain and harm. I leaned on diversity and equity programming for support during those times. At a minimum, my career survived.

My patients of color often pursue therapy to learn how to cope with instances of unfair treatment, lost opportunities, and persecution for minor infractions. Many BIPOC members of the military endorse turning to EO and DEI programming for support after experiencing discrimination. These services provide real help.

And what of the thousands of active service members of different abilities? What of changing perceptions that have recently allowed qualified neurodivergent applicants and those with other medical conditions the opportunity to enlist? Will we rollback these efforts, too, and prevent perfectly eligible individuals from serving?

I shudder to think that history will repeat itself with military members of marginalized groups – those who have served and fought in every major campaign from the Revolution to the present – finding their sacrifices unvalued and unworthy of equitable treatment, opportunity, and respect.

DEI and Neurodivergence: Next Steps

The views expressed in this article are those of the Author(s) and Do Not Reflect the official policy or position of The Department of The Army, Department of Defense, DHA, the US Government, or Henry Jackson Foundation for Advanced Military Medicine, Inc.

References

Of note, according to Erich Wagner writer for the Government Executive, “14,003 EEO complaints across the government in fiscal year 2020. 7,506 alleged discrimination on the basis of reprisal or retaliation, followed by 4,221 allegations of age discrimination, and 4,214 allegations of discrimination on the basis of a physical disability. In fourth place were complaints alleging race discrimination at 3,972, and 3,643 complaints alleged sex discrimination.”  Article and Data sources provided below.

The Federal Government Paid Out Nearly $70 Million From Discrimination Cases in 2020 – Government Executive

EEOC Issues Federal Workforce Report for 2020 | U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

Federal Sector Reports | U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

Department of Defense Board on Diversity and Inclusion Report

Decluttering with ADHD: Key Takeaways

  • Decluttering is overwhelming, especially for ADHD brains, because it involves time, decision-making, effort, and emotional management.
  • Feeling shame around clutter is common but unnecessary — organization doesn’t define self-worth.
  • Start with small, realistic steps — decluttering is about creating a functional, peaceful home, not achieving perfection.

Why Is Decluttering So Hard?

Forty percent of homeowners are afraid of facing the clutter in their homes, according to a 2024 survey. Half of Americans think that at least one room in their home is unsalvageable with clutter. About 1 in 3 ADDitude readers say clutter and home organizing are the areas that cause the most amount of stress in their lives — more than money management, relationships, and physical and mental health.

[Get This Free Download: Free Guide to Hoarding Disorder Vs. ADHD]

Decluttering is hard and overwhelming for many, many reasons; here are a few important ones.

  • We are attached to our stuff. We infuse our belongings with meaning, sometimes justifiably, sometimes not. Either way, our habit of assigning meaning to our possessions often makes it hard to let them go.
  • Decluttering takes lots of time and effort, which triggers avoidance. Very few people wake up and think, “Today’s the day I’m going to declutter.” It’s a multi-step process that takes planning, time management, focus, prioritization, motivation, and emotional regulation — all of which are affected by ADHD and executive dysfunction.
  • Clutter is delayed decision-making. Think about it — you have clutter because you didn’t know what to do with a thing. Faced with analysis paralysis, you decided to set down the item and deal with it later. Now multiply that by hundreds of items, and you have too many DOOM (Didn’t Organize, Only Moved) piles.
  • It’s never-ending. Decluttering and organizing are ongoing necessities, not one-time activities, as some “organizers” out there will have you believe.
  • Clutter blindness is a real phenomenon and another form of avoidance. Our brains become so overwhelmed by the clutter and the decisions it demands that we start to ignore the piles around us. Somehow, we only notice them again when visitors are due.

Care Tasks Are Morally Neutral

There is nothing wrong with finding decluttering difficult. That’s the norm. Yet, there’s a common notion that organized people are somehow “better,” which only adds shame and more difficulty to decluttering.

Here’s the truth: You are not a bad person if you are disorganized. You are not a good person if you are organized. Care tasks — activities that are required to care for the self and keep life going — are morally neutral, according to author KC Davis, who popularized the concept.

[Read: Don’t Organize It, Purge It: 10 Things to Throw Out Now]

Yes, there are benefits to being organized — you can easily find things, sleep in a clear bed, and use your dining table for meals. But being neat and organized doesn’t define your worth. The more you detach your self-worth from tidiness, the easier it becomes to take steps that make your home work for you.

How to Start Decluttering When Overwhelmed

  1. Attach emotional benefit to decluttering. What’s your vision for your home? How do you want your home to feel, look, and function? In other words, why do you want to declutter? Let your answer motivate you. A motivator for a client of mine is connection; her formerly cluttered space kept her from inviting people into her home, which deepened her loneliness.
  2. Design a manageable plan. Go through your home and make a decluttering checklist. Which areas are your biggest pain points? Within those areas, where can you start? Which parts can you do alone, and where do you anticipate needing help?
  3. Schedule decluttering appointments. Treat decluttering like you would a doctor’s appointment and put it on your calendar.
  4. Start small. Rome was not decluttered in a day. As a professional organizer, I spend days decluttering and organizing a home — with a team to help. So if you’re doing it alone, focus on a single drawer, shelf, or cupboard at a time.
  5. Use timers. Even if you’ve given yourself an hour to declutter, break it up into chunks of 10 to 15 minutes.
  6. Accept that clutter will return. Stuff is bound to make its way into your home despite your best efforts to stem the tide. This does not mean that you failed. It only means that life happened. Accept this, and you’ll find it easier to commit to regular decluttering, organizing, and cleaning sessions.
  7. Done is better than perfect. Your home doesn’t have to look Pinterest-perfect. It’s not about putting things in nifty boxes and labels and making it all match. It’s about feeling happy and at peace in your home.

How to Start Decluttering When Overwhelmed: Next Steps

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “How to Organize a Messy Home: Strategies for Clutter and Stress in ADHD Families” [Video Replay & Podcast #520] with Tracy McCubbin, which was broadcast on September 10, 2024.

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FREE WEBINAR ON FEBRUARY 19, 2025
Register for ADHD and Caffeine: Risks & Benefits of Using This Natural Stimulant

From frozen coffee drinks and teas to sodas and energy drinks, caffeine is ubiquitous in teen culture — and its effects are poorly understood.

Conflicting and paltry research on caffeine and ADHD leaves many parents with mixed messages and unclear recommendations. For example, a 2013 study1 suggesting that caffeine may normalize dopamine and attention levels in people with ADHD, was essentially rendered obsolete by a 2024 study2 published in the journal Public Health that associated energy drink consumption with an elevated risk for physical and mental health conditions such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation among children and adolescents.

This study also tied energy drink consumption to increased ADHD inattention, conduct disorder, and depressive and panic symptoms. It showed startling rates of suicidal ideation and attempts among those who drank more than one energy drink a day compared to non-drinkers.

Caffeine is not the only reason these drinks may pose concerns for those with ADHD. A recent meta-analysis3 found that sugary beverage consumption was associated with a 25% increase in ADHD symptoms.

[Get This Free Download: A Parent’s Guide to ADHD Medications]

And still other research has suggested that consuming caffeine with another stimulant can be dangerous, exacerbating side effects like heart rate and blood pressure elevation. Still, no formal contradiction warnings exist, and many parents are left wondering, How much caffeine is too much for a teenager with ADHD?

We asked ADDitude readers if they have a teenager who regularly consumes caffeine and, if so, what observations or concerns they have. We received 189 responses. Many shared their strategies for embracing the benefits of caffeine, moderating it, or eliminating it altogether for their teenagers both with and without ADHD.

How do you manage caffeine consumption by your teen? Share your thoughts in the Comments section.

Negative Effects of Caffeine Consumption

“Caffeine gives some spike of energy but then makes her down and interrupts her sleep. Since she does a lot of sports, she knows coffee will distract her routines.” — Inna, Massachusetts

[Read: Your Guide to ADHD Symptoms in Teens]

“Energy drinks are part of his consuming habits. His crash can be quite volatile, however. Since he has anxiety issues, I’m very concerned when he says he feels his heart pounding. I feel it may be a result of these drinks, but he won’t listen to us.” — Anonymous

It’s a spiral effect that impacts forgetting to eat, poor nutrition, energy surges and crashes, and intestinal issues.” — Anonymous

“With caffeine, the mind becomes overactive, to the point where my child can’t stop to take a breath.” — Stacey, Canada

“Our youngest followed his friends in consuming energy drinks. This was a huge contributor to the nightmare side of ADHD symptomatic behavior.” — Craig, England

“My son drank energy drinks routinely. That’s when he began giving into naps and sleeping late.” — Mindy, Connecticut

Teaching Caffeine Moderation

“I didn’t allow caffeine until age 16. Then, we discussed the consequences of overdoing it, watched some videos, and talked about the healthy use of caffeine.” — Eva, Arizona

“The energy drinks are limited to one, with 150 milligrams of caffeine a day. It has to be consumed before 3 p.m.”Anonymous

We treat caffeine as another over-the-counter drug — to be used with great thought. We actually recommend caffeine on days when the prescription stimulants are not taken to make it a bit easier to focus. Stimulant use and caffeine may have a reaction, and that should be considered.” — Amy, Michigan

“I see a high usage of energy drinks among my son and his friends. I regularly discuss this, and see it influences him from time to time to lessen his intake.” — Inge, Netherlands

“Soda is limited to one can a day. An energy drink is okay with friends, but we limit to one.” — Becky, Pennsylvania

“We try hard to limit caffeine — energy drinks is where we draw the line.” — Kathy, New Hampshire

“I know from personal experience that caffeine can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, so I just try to keep a watch on what he drinks. It’s a very fine line between just enough and too much.” — Casey, North Carolina

Eliminating Caffeine Entirely

“We have educated our children on the dangers of mixing caffeine and stimulant medication.” — Donna, California

“I do not allow it. She already has some trouble falling asleep, so she is happy to avoid it.” — Anonymous

We do not allow caffeine consumption before college because it is habit forming.” — Kaycee, California

“We have been very upset at not being able to give our daughter what other children get every day, and see it is a missed part of her ebbing childhood.” — Larry, Indonesia

We hide caffeinated sodas in our house because he will drink them. Due to the stimulant he takes for ADHD, we have concerns about the amount of caffeine he consumes and its impact on his behavior, sleep, and activity level. We’ve allowed him to drink carbonated and flavored waters, and non-caffeinated, low-sugar sodas.” — Anonymous

Embracing Caffeine

“He makes homemade coffee drinks. It calms him, he says, and helps him gain energy at the same time.” — Theresa, Minnesota

“My 14-year-old daughter with ADHD is unmediated and has just started drinking cappuccinos. When she has one, I’ve noticed that she becomes quite engaged and focused on her love of drawing.” — Lucy, England

“They use caffeine daily as their only stimulant. I don’t think they could function without it.” — Sallie, Michigan

“Caffeine seems to help him regulate.” — Anonymous

How Much Caffeine Is Too Much For a Teenager: Next Steps

Sources

1Pandolfo, P., Machado, N. J., Köfalvi, A., Takahashi, R. N., & Cunha, R. A. (2013). Caffeine regulates frontocorticostriatal dopamine transporter density and improves attention and cognitive deficits in an animal model of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. European Neuropsychopharmacology, 23(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.euroneuro.2012.04.011

2Ajibo, C., Van Griethuysen, A., Visram, S., & Lake, A. A. (2024). Consumption of energy drinks by children and young people: A systematic review examining evidence of physical effects and consumer attitudes. Public Health, 227, 274–281. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.puhe.2023.08.024

3Khazdouz, M., Reza Safarzadeh, Bahram Hejrani, Hasani, M., Fatemeh Sadat Mahdavi, Hanieh-Sadat Ejtahed, & Mostafa Qorbani. (2024). The association between junk foods consumption and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents: a systematic review and meta-analysis of observational studies. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. https://https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-024-02521-8

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February 12, 2025

The U.S. Department of Education (DoE) is now sustaining a rapid-fire succession of cuts and changes spearheaded by President Donald Trump and a team within his administration dubbed the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) and led by billionaire Elon Musk. Significant news this month includes the following:

  • February 3: The Wall Street Journal reports that Trump is working on an executive order to shut down all functions of the DoE and/or move them to other government departments and entities. According to CNN, the executive order will direct the secretary of Education to create a plan to diminish the department through executive action, and also seek Congressional legislation to end the department.
  • February 6: According to The Washington Post, at least 16 DOGE team members have gained access to the Education Department directory and have fed sensitive personal and financial data — including federal student loan data containing Social Security numbers, birth dates, and driver’s license numbers — into artificial intelligence software. Some were also granted administrator-level status in the department’s email system, allowing them access to the back end of ed.gov.
  • February 7: Members of U.S. Congress were barred from entering the Education Department building for a meeting with Education Secretary Denise Carter.
  • February 9: White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that Trump is weighing “options and how to reduce the size of the Department of Education if not abolish it completely.”
  • February 10: The White House ordered an abrupt halt to 89 contracts and 29 grants for research projects underway within the Institute of Education Sciences, an independent research agency within the DoE that is a main source of funding for education research. The agency studies the efficacy of daily report cards for students with ADHD and interventions to improve on-task behaviors, attention, and academic outcomes for students with ADHD, among other things.
  • February 11: A federal judge has agreed to hear a lawsuit filed on behalf of The University of California Student Association that accuses the DoE of violating the Privacy Act of 1974 by sharing sensitive data with DOGE staffers. The group has asked the judge to temporarily block the Education Department from continuing this practice and to retrieve any information already transferred to DOGE, according to Higher Ed Dive.
  • February 12: Trump announces at a press conference that he wants the Department of Education “closed immediately.” CNN reports that mass firings have started with the termination of probationary (typically new) employees of the DoE “across the agency from the general counsel’s office, to the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitation Services that supports programs for children with disabilities, to the Federal Student Aid office.”

So what does all of this change mean for the 7.5 million U.S. school children (15% of that population) who have special needs and whose public schools receive billions of dollars in funding for services and resources from the U.S. Department of Education?

The impact on special-education programs that fall under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), as all Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) do, remains unclear. But here is a rundown of what we know.

[Download: Your Free Guide to the U.S. Education Laws Protecting Students with ADHD]

What does the U.S. Department of Education do?

The U.S. Department of Education, created in 1979, develops and enforces federal education laws; funds special-education programs; administers financial aid programs; and conducts research on schools, students, and educational issues.

The Education Department serves public school students across the United States by:

  • Providing funding to support Title I grants for nearly two-thirds of public schools serving 26 million vulnerable students in pre-K through Grade 12
  • Funding special-education programs for students with disabilities covered by IDEA, including dyslexia, autism, and ADHD, which falls into the act’s ‘Other Health Impaired’ category if symptoms impact educational performance
  • Administering loans and Pell Grants for low-income college students. The DoE distributed approximately $27.2 billion in Pell Grants during the 2022-2023 academic year, and 43 million people have federal student loans
  • Enforcing civil rights laws like Title IX, which protects against discrimination based on gender or disability
  • Supporting school improvement programs to boost education outcomes
  • Funding programs to promote mental health and after-school activities

“The department currently oversees federal student loan programs, distributes financial aid, and enforces policies meant to protect borrowers from predatory lending practices. Eliminating the DoE could introduce uncertainty into loan servicing, possibly delaying repayments, altering forgiveness programs or making it harder for students to access federal aid,” according to Newsweek.

What does the U.S. Department of Education NOT do?

The Department of Education does not set or enforce curricula, or determine state education standards.

State and local school boards decide curriculum, textbooks, and what’s taught in history or science classes. Educator salaries, hiring, and qualifications are determined by state laws and local school boards. Each state adopts its own education standards. Private and religious schools operate independently, and they determine their own tuition prices. Public universities are funded by state governments; the Education Department only provides federal aid and loan programs.

[Quiz: How Well Do You Know U.S. Education Law?]

How big is the Department of Education?

In 2024, the Education Department employed roughly 4,425 people and had a budget of $79 billion.

What is the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)?

IDEA is a law governing how states and public agencies provide early intervention, special education, and related services to more than 8 million eligible infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities.

IDEA guarantees the right of students with qualified disabilities, such as ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and more, to participate in Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) that provide special education and related services and accommodations designed to improve the student’s ability to receive academic instruction.

IDEA also authorizes formula grants to states and discretionary grants to institutions of higher education and other non-profit organizations to support research, demonstrations, technology and personnel development, and parent-training and information centers.

What role does the Education Department play in the IDEA?

The Education Department enforces the IDEA through the Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP) and the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) by doing the following:

  • Developing and communicating federal policy for IDEA
  • Monitoring and enforcing state implementation of IDEA
  • Helping states implement early intervention services for infants and toddlers with disabilities
  • Investigating complaints and conducting compliance reviews
  • Working with schools to address issues when rights are not upheld
  • Protecting the rights of people with disabilities under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973

What is Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973?

“Section 504 is a federal law designed to protect the rights of individuals with disabilities in programs and activities that receive Federal financial assistance from the U.S. Department of Education,” according to the DoE.

What role does the Education Department play in Section 504?

OCR, a division of the department, enforces Section 504 by ensuring that public schools provide a “free appropriate public education” (FAPE) to each qualified student with a disability who is in the school district’s jurisdiction, regardless of the nature or severity of the disability. “OCR receives complaints from parents, students or advocates, conducts agency initiated compliance reviews, and provides technical assistance to school districts, parents, or advocates,” according to the DoE.

Any student with a 504 Plan is covered by Section 504. If a school district is out of compliance with Section 504 by failing to provide “education in regular classes with supplementary services, and/or special education and related services,” the OCR may initiate administrative proceedings to terminate DoE financial assistance to the school or refer the case to the Department of Justice for judicial proceedings.

How does the DoE financially support students with ADHD?

According to available research, the DoE spends a significant amount on students with ADHD, with estimates ranging from $5.6 billion for younger children to between $9.36 and $19.75 billion for older children and teenagers on educational costs including special education, therapies, and counseling, all related to managing ADHD in the school setting.

How much of any state’s special-education funding comes from the DoE?

Since IDEA was enacted, federal funds have covered approximately 13% of the cost of special-education services. States supplement federal IDEA funding with funding formulas for special education that vary widely from state to state. The remainder of funding comes from state and local tax revenue.

In a study of 5,694 districts in 24 states, serving nearly 3 million students with disabilities, Bellwether found that special education services cost $13,127 per student per year, on average. Funding from the DoE covered $1,578 of that cost, or 12%. The districts received dedicated special-education state revenue totaling $3,388 per pupil, and the remaining $8,161 in funding was generated through taxes.

Will Trump likely be able to shut down the DoE?

By law, the Education Department can be shut down only by an act of Congress. According to Time magazine, “In January, Rep. Thomas Massie, a Republican from Kentucky, re-introduced a bill that would terminate the Department of Education. The bill has 30 Republican co-sponsors thus far,” but would require 60 votes to pass.

If the Department of Education is shuttered, will my child’s IEP be impacted?

IEPs are protected by law, as spelled out in IDEA. So long as IDEA law remains intact, the rights of students with disabilities to IEPs will remain protected. However, the DoE is the primary watchdog for both IDEA and Section 504, so enforcement of IEP and 504 Plan violations could be impacted. It is also unclear how federal government funding cuts could impact local school districts across the country that rely on DoE funds to “support disabled students, pay special education teachers and therapists, and buy the materials and equipment that students need,” according to The Century Foundation.

If the Department of Education is shuttered, who will enforce IDEA law?

Another federal agency, such as the Department of Justice, would likely take over enforcement of IDEA if the Education Department were abolished. This would include conducting compliance reviews, investigating complaints from parents, and enforcing penalties for schools that fall out of compliance. It is unclear how any change in enforcement may impact parents’ ability to secure special-education resources or pursue complaints against schools for providing inadequate resources under IDEA.

Department of Education & IEP Law: Next Steps


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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Darlene Lancer, MFT gives 6 tips for making sure your Valentine’s Day is enjoyable, and good for your mental health.

More can be found here: Read More

Autism self-advocate Marcelle Ciampi, M.Ed. (aka Samantha Craft) reflects on her challenges with object permanence and chronic pain.

More can be found here: Read More

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in children is neither uncommon nor well understood. Even some medical professionals think OCD is about rigorous hand-scrubbing or similar ritualized behaviors. It is often much stealthier — especially in kids who also have ADHD.

OCD is relatively more common in youth with ADHD. The disorders affect the same part of the brain and have many overlapping symptoms, including problems with attention, planning, task switching, and impulsivity. For this reason, OCD is sometimes misdiagnosed as ADHD or missed altogether when ADHD is present.

A missed OCD diagnosis is problematic because the condition informs the medication your child is prescribed, the treatment you pursue, and the therapist you choose. It influences the way you respond to your child’s behavioral challenges and the school accommodations you request.

The OCD Experience

We’ve all heard “I’m so OCD” from someone who is extremely neat and organized, but this stereotype does not generally reflect the reality of the OCD experience. Only a portion of people with OCD have germ or contamination obsessions. Misleading stereotypes like this mean OCD symptoms often go unrecognized in kids. Parents frequently ask, “How could my child have OCD? Their room is a mess.”

[Get This Free Download: Is It OCD or ADHD?]

The most common OCD themes in children include:

  • Fear of harm: These kids frequently check their parents’ locations on their phones, and text or call them excessively to make sure they’re okay.
  • Health concerns: These children worry constantly about getting sick and tend to be afraid of adult maladies, like aneurysms and heart attacks. This theme escalated significantly during and after COVID.
  • Rejection fears:  Over-apologizing and over-accommodating other people’s needs are common with this OCD theme. These kids chronically worry that friends will reject them and ask, “Are you mad at me? Do you still love me?”
  • Perfectionism: This is characterized by people-pleasing among kids with ADHD, who frequently grapple with fear of failure. These kids seek constant reassurance that they are meeting expectations and avoid activities that they’re “not good at.”
  • Fear of contamination: Hand-washing, often considered a “classic” OCD behavior, is one of many common responses to contamination fears. Some of these kids view certain parts of their home as “dangerous” and other parts as “safe,” and others as “dirty.”
  • Extreme food pickiness: These kids will eat only very specific kinds of food due to unfounded fears of allergens, digestive issues, or other adverse consequences.
  • Separation anxiety: These kids are afraid of sleeping alone, going to sleepovers, or of parents traveling without them. They believe something bad will happen to them or their parents during separation. This can last through high school.
  • Time concerns: This theme takes two forms: kids are deeply worried about timeliness, and others worried about the passage of time. Children with OCD can feel a powerful fear of future regret, such as, “This is my only opportunity to be a child and I don’t want it to pass me by.” They often experience great dysregulation with plans change.

OCD Manifestations with ADHD

OCD often shows up in the following behaviors or as the following phobias among children who also have ADHD:

  • Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs), such as nail biting and skin picking. Recent research suggests that N-acetyl cysteine (NAC), an antioxidant, may help curb the intense urge to engage in body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs). It is an over-the-counter supplement. Side effects (nausea and stomach upset) tend to be mild.
  • Emetophobia, or fear of vomiting.
  • Misophonia, or disgust at the sound of people chewing
  • Social phobia and avoidance due to fear of embarrassment
  • School refusal or avoidance due, in many cases, to the fear of school being “unsafe”

[Read: OCD and ADHD – The Polar Opposites That Are Not]

Treating OCD in Kids

OCD symptoms can range from burdensome to debilitating, but a large body of research has revealed effective treatment approaches. They include:

  • Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): ERP is a desensitization therapy in which patients are gradually exposed to thoughts or situations that trigger their obsessions and learn coping skills to prevent them from taking over. ERP requires numerous sessions and improves symptoms in most cases.
  • Medication: In combination with ERP, medication can be very effective in reducing OCD symptoms. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Prozac or Zoloft, are the most commonly used medications. Sometimes, a low dose of an antipsychotic, such as Abilify, is used to augment the SSRI, particularly for neurodivergent kids.

    These OCD medications may be used in conjunction with ADHD medications, including stimulants. For some people, though, stimulants can increase OCD symptoms and/or BFRBs, so It’s important to be treated by a provider who is knowledgeable about both OCD and ADHD.

  • N-acetyl cysteine: Recent research suggests that N-acetyl cysteine (NAC), an antioxidant, may help curb the intense urge to engage in body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs). It is an over-the-counter supplement. Side effects (nausea and stomach upset) tend to be mild.

Can You Have ADHD and OCD? Next Steps

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Q: “My 16-year-old son socializes through gaming and refuses to make any effort to develop friendships in real life. When I bring up the subject, he flies off the handle. How can I help my struggling teen?”


Friendships seldom spark or endure easily for boys with ADHD, who may avoid or sabotage real-life friendships due to weak social executive functioning (SEF) skills related to cognitive flexibility and situational awareness. Social anxiety is also prevalent among some teens with ADHD, yet many are unable to articulate this difficulty, which can lead teen boys to retreat into online worlds and video games.

Improve your teen’s SEF skills by helping them to:

  • Put in the work. Sports teammates or kids from youth groups may not become closer friends because boys with ADHD don’t know how to put in the required effort. Teens with ADHD enjoy being with other kids, but when they’re not near them, they’re not thinking about them because the ADHD brain tends to live in the moment. Out of sight means out of mind. Parents can help by coaching their sons to actively show peers they’re interested in hanging out through texts, direct messages, calls, or in-person invitations.
  • Adopt a new perspective. Calmly discuss how peers may interpret your teen’s behavior. You might say: “It was good that you invited Sam to the beach. Even though he couldn’t go, it showed him that you wanted to spend time with him, which probably made him feel good.” Many boys fear rejection. It’s important to help your teen understand that everyone experiences rejection — maybe an invitation was declined, or friendly outreach efforts weren’t reciprocated. The more practice your teen gets with reaching out to peers, the easier this will get.
  • Read the room. Before teens venture into unstructured social situations, strengthen their situational awareness by helping them anticipate the behaviors expected of them. That might sound like: “When you get to the party, kids may already be playing games you enjoy. You can join them, or you can see if there are any other kids you like. If so, go talk with them.”

[Could My Child Have Social Anxiety? Take This Self-Test]

Social Anxiety in Teens

Social anxiety is common among teen boys. Easing their discomfort around social situations will help them move away from screens and build offline friendships. Here are some approaches to try.

  • Normalize nervousness. Social anxiety is often overlooked in teen boys, and consequently, many believe they’re alone in their experience. Let them know it’s common to feel temporary discomfort in new social situations. Explain that this anxiety tends to build, peak, and recede.
  • Challenge irrational thoughts. Social anxiety is based on irrational thinking, such as catastrophic thinking, a tendency to discount the positive, or assuming that others believe the worst about you. Challenge your child’s negative thought patterns by asking, “What evidence do you have that _____ will think it’s weird if you invite him over? Maybe he’ll be happy you asked him because he was nervous about asking you.”
  • Don’t enable anxiety. Many well-meaning parents accommodate their teen’s social worries to avoid temporary distress. But rescuing a teen from short-term anxiety tends to heighten it in the long term. Support your teen by exposing them to gradual steps toward socializing. Ultimately, they must be exposed to situations they interact in person. Have them text a classmate with a homework question. Eventually, have your teen invite the classroom over to study.

Social Anxiety in Teens with ADHD: Next Steps

Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD and learning differences. He creates content for the ADHD Dude YouTube channel.


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U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.), during a confirmation hearing for Health and Human Services Director nominee Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., last week said this: “We have an attention deficit problem in this country… When you and I were growing up, our parents didn’t use a drug, they used a belt and whipped our butt… Nowadays, we give them Adderall and Ritalin. They are like candy across college and high school campuses.”

Kennedy, in his response to Tuberville, falsely claimed that 15% of American children are taking Adderall or other ADHD medications, and that the U.S. is “overmedicating our children” with stimulants, SSRIs, and benzodiazepines for mental health conditions. This juxtaposition — criticizing the American pharmaceutical industry after suggesting corporal punishment as a healthier alternative — struck many in the ADHD community as toxic and dangerous.

The American Psychological Association (APA) passed a resolution in 2019 urging against physical discipline for children, citing research demonstrating that corporal punishment harms children’s mental health and increases the likelihood of aggressive behavior in the future. “Use of physical discipline predicts increases — not decreases — in children’s behavior problems over time,” the resolution said.

The clinical practice guidelines developed by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recommend medication as the first-line treatment for ADHD in school-age children, citing a formal review of 78 studies on the treatment of ADHD, which “consistently supported the superiority of stimulant over the non-drug treatment.”

Tuberville’s comment comes just days after an interview with Nicole Shanahan, an attorney and Kennedy’s former 2024 running mate, in which he blamed mental health medications for a rise in American school shootings, despite a lack of research backing this claim.

ADHD Community Response

“The effects of ADHD crush families, multiply health burdens, sap worker productivity, and increase penal system costs,” said Oren Mason, M.D., a family physician in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and author of Reaching for a New Potential, in response to Kennedy’s statement at the confirmation hearing. “Life is remarkably harder with autism and depression, and every bit of support is welcome. People with ADHD and similar mental health challenges need affordable and available medications, psychosocial support, and education/work modifications. Parents need evidence-based guidance and training opportunities and respite. Teachers need evidence-based methodologies and the time to implement them. Therapists and coaches need training in the most beneficial interventions. Scientists and researchers need funding and priority-setting leadership. As Secretary of HHS, this is what I will provide the people of our great nation.”

“This is what RFK, Jr., might have said if he was familiar with the far-reaching complexities of providing hope and care for those with mental health challenges,” Mason continued. “Instead, he chose an Internet-chatter meme to spotlight his grasp of the needs of almost 30 million Americans with a complex disability. The mortality rate of ADHD is higher than asthma and nearly that of heart disease. If he was trying to signal that his approach to America’s mental health will be heartless and evidence-free, he nailed it.”

Many people took to BlueSky to respond to Tuberville’s and Kennedy’s comments at the confirmation hearing and to reflect on their own experiences with physical discipline as children with ADHD. Here are comments posted to BlueSky late last week during the confirmation hearings:

“Child abuse is a serious problem in this country and NOT a treatment for ADHD. In fact there is an association between ADHD and being a victim of abuse.” — @trm99.bsky.social

We did get punished in every way, from spankings to standing in the corner at school for having (what we later learned) was ADHD. I was told how disappointing I was, how it was a shame that I had poor self-control since I was so smart, etc.” — @ritamelindared.bsky.social

The belt/strap never helped my ADHD just made me angrier and more rebellious!” — @ginakh.bsky.social

“Late diagnosis and therapy ended decades of self-loathing no doubt brought about by teachers and other adults who berated me as a kid.” — @mexhistorian.bsky.social

[Read: Does Trauma Cause ADHD? And Vice Versa?]

“As a 65 year old with ADHD (and I had it as a child) I can attest that THE BELT was not the way to handle things. I’m still traumatized.” — @veryvaluable.bsky.social

“I was diagnosed when I was 41; my brother was 6. He was treated very differently and far less violently than I was and is doing well.” — @atticusdogsbody.bsky.social

“My mom used a belt, and her hands, and The Denver Post, and wooden spoons, etc… and I still have ADHD and also CPTSD.” — @quickbeam711.bsky.social

Beating your child was never a treatment for ADHD. It was and always will be abuse.” — @ pednspy.bsky.social

“ADHD is an actual condition, and you can’t beat it out of a child.” — @ nrvschultz.bsky.social

“The belt doesn’t cure ADHD.” — @davidcouldbewrong.bsky.social

“As a parent watching a 4-year-old kid and wondering if he has ADHD, my first and only concern is making sure he had tools to succeed, not that we beat it out of him or hide it due to stigma.” — @ viamarsala18.bsky.social

These comments shed light on the need for proper treatment to combat the shame and stigma that tend to come with an ADHD diagnosis.

RFK Hearing, Discipline, and ADHD: Next Steps

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The capacity to hope is a powerful predictor of wellbeing. Scientific research shows that hope improves emotional regulation, pain tolerance, coping strategies, and self-esteem. It reduces depression and anxiety, and it can shape positive outcomes.

What is Hope, Exactly?

Hope is believing that a positive future is possible and trusting in your ability to achieve it. Hope provides a structured approach for setting goals and taking steps to achieve the future you desire, rather than simply contemplating it.

Experiencing hard times reduces an individual’s capacity for hope, but here’s the good part: Hope itself is a protective factor against adversity. Also, hope and resilience can be nurtured, taught, and restored.

Hope comprises three parts:

  • Goals (short- and long-term) are the cornerstone of hope. 
  • Pathways emerge, identifying routes towards goals and illuminating solutions around obstacles. This is the strategic aspect of hope. 
  • Agency, or willpower, is the ability to sustain motivation to move through pathways and meet goals, especially during hard times. 

[Read: The Mystery of ADHD Motivation, Solved]

How to Build Hope

Hope can be taught in incremental steps. You can expand your capacity for hope and strive for a better future, even in the face of apathy and despair.

  • Develop and clarify your goals. Define relevant and clear goals to increase your sense of agency. What future do you want for your relationships, career, health, and so on? Consider whether your goals are avoidant- or achievement-oriented. Are you setting goals for what you do not want to occur? Are your goals driven by anxiety or fear of the future? While it’s natural for some goals to stem from avoidance, you want most of your goals to be aspirational.
  • Define and refine pathways. Consider viable routes and potential barriers to achieving your goals. Challenge yourself to find solutions to obstacles as they appear. Think about what’s in your power to change. Remember that setting different goals is always an option.
  • What motivates you? Identify and describe what fuels your willpower. Use the following strategies to help sustain attention and build willpower as you move toward your goals:

[Read: Intention Deficit Disorder – Why ADHD Minds Struggle to Meet Goals]

  • Call on your imagination. Envisioning a successful future helps to stoke willpower.
  • Practice mindfulness. Just as stress and anxiety can deplete willpower, mindfulness and breathing exercises can help settle your thoughts so you can dedicate more energy to your goals.
  • Create a hope map. Develop a visual reminder of your goals, pathways, and motivations.
  • Ask for help. Look for support from friends, family, colleagues, coaches, and other positive influences in your life.

Why Is Hope Important Now?

What happens when the issues we face seem beyond our control? The last several years have brought a deadly pandemic, a deepening political divide, global conflict, and climate changes that produced life-threatening weather patterns. In the midst of such adversity, it is easy to slip into despair.

In these moments, hope is not the light at the end of the tunnel; hope is the light we need in the tunnel. During times of extreme hardship, we keep our focus on very short-term (perhaps daily) goals, where we have some degree of control in our pathways.

Brené Brown recently referred to these as microdoses of hope. Focus on the priority areas of your life: family, work, leisure, and community. Our research shows that short-term, specific goals are a better protector of hope and predictor of goal achievement during times of adversity. Once you identify a short-term goal, take a moment and think about a time when you achieved something that made you proud. What barriers did you face and how did you overcome them? Remember, you have done hard things.

Hope begets hope. Making progress toward your goals will increase your confidence and belief that the future is yours for the taking.

Building Hope and Resilience: Next Steps

Chan M. Hellman, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Oklahoma and director of The Hope Research Center. His research focuses on helping children and adults overcome trauma and adversity.


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